This Halloween, Escape with the King of Horror
Part of the appeal of Halloween (and the horror genre in general) is that people feel good reading or watching about the life of someone who has it worse than they do. As they watch a good looking lady get hacked into pieces or read about a man whose whole family was just slaughtered by a pack of werewolves, people think, "I'm sure glad I'm not that guy!"
Reading a book or watching a movie that scares the be-Jesus out of you is a welcome distraction from the little everyday problems that might otherwise drive you nuts. Forget about your annoying boss or that huge bill you just got in the mail or your kid who you'd like to send to live with your mother, and surround yourself with someone else's problems that are much, MUCH worse than yours will ever be.
This Halloween season, I am recommending you temporarily escape from your worries with some classic Stephen King tales. Whether you're looking to settle in with a good book or you just have time for a quick film, here are a few horror staples to lose yourself (and your lunch? your mind? some sleep?) in. Even if you've seen or read them before, they're always good for a jolt. You think you got problems? Well, turn down the lights, pop some popcorn, and try these issues on for size...
Carrie is a homely teenager who everybody tortures and taunts on a daily basis. There is no "going too far" for her bullies who throw tampons at her and plan to cover her in pig's blood. To make matters even worse, Carrie's mother is a bible-thumping psychopath who likes to lock Carrie in closets, forcing her to atone for the unacceptable sin of maturing and reaching puberty.
Poor Carrie, right? I would rather deal with one hundred of the worst people I know than sit in a room with Carrie's mother for one single minute. So, how does Carrie deal with her issues? She discovers and hones her psycho-kinetic skills and kills everyone she sees in one gloriously hellacious prom night.
Pet Sematary - will help you accept death
Dr. Louis Creed seems to be unable to come to terms with the fact that in life death is inevitable. He has recently suffered from losses, big and small. First, his daughter's cat, Winston Churchill, is run over, and then he gets nightly visits from a patient he recently lost, Victor Paskow. The final nail in Louis's sanity coffin is the death of his small son, Gage, who learns to walk just in time to step in front of an oncoming Mac Truck. Ouch.
Louis decides that the best way to deal with death it to kick it swiftly in the balls. After testing the ancient Indian burial ground behind his house with the cat, he decides the smart thing to do is to resurrect his child as a scalpel wielding zombie with a pension for hiding under beds and slicing tendons in the back of Herman Munster's ankle. Ouch, again.
It - will make any bad childhood memories disappear
My ten-year high school reunion is right around the corner, but my fears about seeing old faces and reliving one horrible story after another are in no way justifiable when I look at the reunion the characters in this book are dealing with. Years after they successfully faced and defeated an ancient, child-eating evil, a group of old friends has to return to the small town of Derry, Maine to finally destroy the monster that can take the shape of their worst fears.
You name the problem, these characters have to face it: killer clowns, giant spiders, a mummy, a werewolf, a leper, a giant bird... Their real world problems aren't any prettier: abusive parents, violent partners, failed careers, depression, and drugs. Looking at the life of any member of "The Losers Club" will make your existence seem like a dream.
I also want to note that this is the best book. If you've never read it, just take the plunge. It's long, but worth it. Beep Beep, Richie!
Misery - will make you grateful that you have avoided the pitfalls of fame...and for your health
Paul Sheldon is a successful writer. He has a life that most would envy. Until, that is, an accident puts him in the hands of a psychopath who happens to be his "biggest fan." Just as Paul feels he has fallen victim to the trap of commercialism within his writing, he is restrained and "tortured" by a fan of the very books he has come to dislike.
In the end, Paul lives to pen those personal novels that he always hoped to write, but even after he is free of Annie's house of horrors, Paul suffers more than any person should: he is wracked with nightmares about his imprisonment, he is an alcoholic and may have a drug problem, and he has no feet... Oh yeah, have you seen the movie but never read the book? You know that hobbling scene that makes you squirm in your seat every time you see it? Well, in the book it involves an axe and a blowtorch. The novel version of Paul would probably thank god for a sledgehammer.
Storm of the Century - will make any major decisions you made today seem simple
SotC is the only story here that is neither a novel nor a movie - it is a mini-series. So, yes, you need quite a few hours to watch it, but ooooooooh is it good. A mysterious stranger comes to a small island town in Maine in the middle of a snow storm that cuts off all contact between the island and the mainland. It's too bad for these small-towners that this stranger is an evil demon who knows all their deepest, darkest secrets.
Andre Linoge is a bad guy that will give you nightmares. And when you finally discover what this creepster wants, you'll see that the biggest choice you made in the last year doesn't hold a candle to the one these people have to make. Sucks to be them.
The Shining - will actually make you happy that you have no time to vacation
Everyone has seen The Shining. Fewer of you have read the book. You might be surprised by the fact that the two are very, very different. While the movie focuses on Jack's downward spiral and crazy-ass abusiveness, the book is more of a ghost story, dealing with how "the hotel" attempts to get at little Danny Torrance. Either way, you have a winner of a story.
Whichever version you choose, however, will lead you into a world of depression, isolation, and alcoholism. If you think you are dissatisfied with your work, you don't hold a candle to Jack Torrance! And, of course, on top of all this, these poor bastards have to deal with the a creepy hotel filled with pissed off spirits. The Overlook Hotel = worst. vacation. ever.
Teaching 8th English never looked so good!
Redrum.
Posted by Amanda at 10/18/2009 8:40 PM 
Categories: Movies, Books
Tags: andre linoge redrum scared zombie problems halloween the shining killing paul sheldon it storm of the century misery carrie stephen king beep beep richie pennywise horror. books movies pet sematary jack torrance hobbling gage creed louis creed chud
Categories: Movies, Books
Tags: andre linoge redrum scared zombie problems halloween the shining killing paul sheldon it storm of the century misery carrie stephen king beep beep richie pennywise horror. books movies pet sematary jack torrance hobbling gage creed louis creed chud
I don't know whats going on with that one on the top right but, it surely is very very creepy. I think that the "IT" though was definitely very very creepy as well. They did a good job picking that character.
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