My best friend in the world, Mala, will be moving at the end of the month to New Jersey. Why she would want to live in that cesspool, I'll never know... Oh yeah, I guess working for Princeton is an understandable reason...I guess.
I know that she'll come back to good old PA in time (even if I have to kidnap her), but for now, I'm sad. It feels like only yesterday that I just stole her back from Virginia. So, to fend off my sorrows, I've written this blog in dedication to Mala, immortalizing our love by projecting it across that magical ether known as the Internets.
I present to you my list: 51 Reasons I Love Mala. I challenge all my readers out there who know and love that little brown girl (and by god, I know there's quite a few of you) to send a shout out below and add to my list. How high can we go?1. Her head has been the same size since (at least) 1984.
2. She once got viciously attacked by a beagle.
3. "I think Michael has been compromised."
4. She always explains who all those people I can't remember are when they try to friend me on Facebook.
5. Sometimes she laughs and hyperventilates at the same time.
6. She never judges me, and she always listens.
7. She is so damn cute - irresistible, in fact.
8. In 6th grade, she made her own nametag: William Tell.
9. When she gave her maid-of-honor speech at my wedding, we both cried.
10. I can remember one of the first times I heard her say the F-word out loud.
11. She has great sense of humor and can always give you a smile.
12. Someday, our kids will be best friends. Oh, they will be, whether they like it or not.
13. The word "panties" makes her shudder and blush.
14. She's the first person I always call when news arises.
15. She's genuinely interested in the books I read.
16. She may appear tiny and meek, but she can snap you in two with her kung fu ways.
17. That girl has got some funky rhythm.
18. Seriously, she knows everything about everything.
19. "Is it raining? I hadn't noticed." This line makes her want to die.
20. She doesn't let being afraid stop her from doing something or going somewhere.
21. Who else do you know that ever carried fetal chickens around in her purse?
22. She's still in school, and she's 29 years old. I love it.
23. Her mother gave me a Riesen every morning while I waited for Mala to get ready and finish her breakfast.
24. She is willing to wear a shirt I made her, no matter how cheesy it is.
25. All of our bus rides with Dugan, talking about boys.
26. My dad called her "Oops" - and apparently, he was right.
27. She always puts everyone else ahead of herself.
28. When she finds out I wrote a blog about her, she'll be completely mortified, but under all that embarrassment, I know she'll be secretly loving it.
29. Almost every good memory I have - hell, almost every memory I have - has her in it.
30. We almost saw Radiohead together once (a band that she, in fact, introduced me to).
31. Sometimes, if we're lucky, she comes to the Lovely house on Christmas Day to hang with my family.
32. My enemies are her enemies. And vice versa.
33. When she would go to India in the summers when we were young, she would always write me letters - real letters (and I still have them all).
34. She fell in love with the tallest man I know. Go figure.
35. She tried so hard to find Jesus Fever a home. When she couldn't, she cried.
37. I don't know when her real birthday is.
38. The only speech I've ever given in public was about her.
39. We always have fun together - even when we're just playing
Apples to Apples into the wee hours of the night.
40. We can go weeks without talking, and it never, ever matters.
41. She trusts me to take care of business when she's too shy to do it herself (FP's much).
42. She's pretty much obsessed with
Pride and Prejudice - the mini-series.
43. Rolling around on the floor during middle school study halls in the cafeteria.
44. Few people are as truly selfless as Mala is.
45. The one time I slept over her house, Becky and I were eating coffee grains while I'm pretty sure Mala was rubbing her face against the TV screen because a movie starring Ethan Hawke was on.
46. She can't digest food without punching herself in the gut.
47. Someday she's going to be the most successful person I know.
48. She recognizes the awesome power of the Stipe Effect.
49. No matter where she goes, she'll always live "right down the street."
50. She slept on a tent I made in my dorm room. And she cowered with me in fear...of Jesus.
51. I know she'll always be willing to participate in a game of online
Scrabble.
52. This picture, as well as our love, is over 20 years old. It's my favorite picture, and I still have that little clown.

WHY DO YOU LOVE MALA?
(P.S. If no one comments on this, Mala, don't be dismayed. I don't know if anyone is reading! It's certainly no reflection on you.)